MEN | WOMEN | SEX

I get it, really I do. I always felt that men and women are different, but in the last couple of days I have really had and insight into the fundamental differences that cause sooooooo much drama between the sexes. As I left one of my classes this week I got into a discussion with some of my students about challenges in getting their needs met. I jokingly said I would conduct a seminar teaching men the art of seduction, but they were all ears. As the discussion developed it became more clear that we need to talk.

In multiple conversations, I had different women talk about what they really wanted from their man. Nine times out of ten it was to feel respected, cherished, and adored. Yeah we want to know that you think we are sexy, but we also want to know that you think we are interesting and smart. We want you to want our bodies, but we also want you to want to talk with us.

By "we" I mean well adjusted women with a positive sense of self and tons of self-respect. There are many women out here who have father issues, self-esteem issues, and all other sorts of issues, "we" are not them. We want to love someone with all our heart and demand that we feel loved in return. We are not willing to give and give and give until we are empty. We need to be replenished. We will treat you like a king, but demand that we be treated like queens.

It seems like it should be simple, but what I have found is that most men do not know how to treat you like a queen. They still don't understand that sex is not just intercourse and that what many consider "foreplay" is the cornerstone of what the woman looks forward to. Too many guys seem to think that the breasts, booty, and coochie are the end all and be all to a woman's physique. I guess no one ever schooled them on the small of the back, inner thigh, back of the knee, back of the ear, and collarbone. No one explained that when you take a woman dancing and spin twirl and lead her around the floor you are setting the stage for a night of passion. The list could go on and on and on. Many men do not understand that they can do more with their lips and hands than they could ever do with just their dick. More than all of that, they don't get that if they simply took more time to cater to a woman's needs they could get more of what they want, SEX.

While we want men to care about our needs, I have accepted that most guys are selfish. They only care about making sure they are happy. Therefore, the conversation that needs to be had should be framed in such a way that we (women) explain to them (men) that if they do this (be more attentive to our bodies and minds) that they will get more sex. It's just that simple. Make her feel good and you can get off.

My class may be titled "How to Get Sex Whenever You Want It." Maybe I'm giving away the secret to getting almost any woman to say yes, but I bet that I will get tons of thank yous from both men and women who are finally satisfied. My mission to have hundreds of women getting what they want, so I am working on the course outline now.

You've Got to Get Your Hustle On

" I know you got to get your hustle on" E - Badu, Other side of the Game


I think about what it takes to "hustle" and succeed and I know the same qualities it takes to illegal activities can be applied to a legit hustle, if you are willing to make it happen. So tell me why don't more people in my community flip it? I have an associate, (I won't name any names) but he paid his way through school by hustlin' and made some great connects through many of his best customers. He always kept it professional and planned to get out and make something of himself. This was years ago, and although I didn't know what was going on, I have always admired his drive and tenacity. Once I found out how he financed his education I was shocked, but sometimes you are faced with no other choices. He now as a very successfully business.

Fast forward to my late 20's early 30's. I know so many people out here struggling, who just have no hustle in them. They don't seem to get that no one is going to give you anything, nor that nothing is guaranteed. Yeah I bought into the hype that all you had to do was get a good education, work hard, and keep your nose clean, but that didn't stop me from being forced out of my last job, nor has it protected the hundreds, no thousands, of white collar workers who are "down-sized" on the regular.

So as the savings ran low and now job materialized I understood that I had to make something happen. It was funny (well more like frustrating) to me b/c as my creditors harassed me for nonpayment they were "get a job" and I was like "I'm trying" but the only jobs that seemed available where hourly labor jobs paying less than $15/hr. Here's the problem, I had $40K expenses and the jobs I was finding would barely keep the rent paid so once basic needs were met I would have nothing left for VISA. I couldn't see the logic in going work everyday to get deeper and deeper into a pit of debt. So I bit the bullet and decided to get my hustle on.

Don't get it twisted I am doing nothing illegal, I developed a business, wrote a plan and now sell products to people and get paid. The thing is, the same qualities have I have to use to make this work are use by street hustlers. So the point is if we could only help them see that they do have the skills to make it perhaps we could have less folks in jail and more getting a good life. Yes it would take a little longer to make it, but isn't that better than jail or maybe even death?

Secondly all the recent college grads and laid off workers need to realize that the jobs they were "promised" or used to just don't exist anymore. This economy favors the business owner/ producer. The days of just showing up, pushing paper, and collecting a check are coming to and end and quickly. The distressing thing is that our educational system is not preparing folks to take care of themselves. We are taught how to go out and work for someone else. We don't know how to be "results based" employees. It takes a different mindset to function knowing that if you don't produce, you don't get paid.

I wonder what's going to happen when everyone realizes that they have been screwed, majorly. As for me, I work hard everyday. It is stressful being responsible for everything, but it is what it is. I can't be fired, I wake up when I get done sleeping, and the only office politics I have to deal with is what I see on TV. As we turn the corner and start making a profit, I can see myself putting a dent into all the bills that have piled up. I feel confident in my decision b/c I had spent the last 8 months working for $12/hr I would still probably be in the same financial boat, but depressed, angry, and still looking for a "real" job.

LONG LIVE THE HUSTLE!!