Holiday Blah

I am happy to see my Dad, I am on the fence about my sister, but what I do know is that I miss home. Not Detroit, not the house I grew up in, but that good feeling of love and laughter and togetherness. I'm on the train as I write this heading back from the Chi back to see the family, but that good feeling isn't there.

I know what it is, but that doesn't fix anything, it just means I get it. My life changed fundamental when my mother first got really sick. She was the organizer of the family. She put together the reunions, arranged holiday get togethers and kept all the sisters, brothers, cousins, nieces, nephews, and grand kids in touch. For the past I guess 15 years since she wasn't able to walk or be independent things have been different.

Not one to get stuck in defeat, my sister and I made an effort to re-kindle the flame of family and love, but for the past two years since I quit my job and focused on my business, its been back to before :-(

I have a surrogate family consisting of my best friend from high school and her family, but this year they are in NC with other family so I am on my own. My relationship with my sister is strained and my other aunts and cousins are in Atlanta. All in all I'm feeling a little blue this Thanksgiving. This year has been one of tremendous changed. I moved to Chicago, my friends moved to Atlanta, I sold my studio/event space, and I am looking for job.

You can't dwell in the past, nor re-create it. I look forward to creating my own holiday traditions with friends and a family of my own, but then that gets me to wondering if that will ever happen. I love the whole domestic thing, cooking, decorating, playing hostess and would love to have a honey to share my life with, but things are looking kinda bleak on that front. Part of reason I am job hunting is that with my work I am surrounded by women all the time and its hard to meet men. I look forward to having more discretionary income to go out, travel, pursue my non-professional interests. I don't want to be restricted to my home and/or free/inexpensive events b/c my cash is low. Nor do I want to be forced to go out with gentlemen I am not interested in, just to get a free meal and get out the house.

I miss my days of financial Independence and the ability to do things I want to do, not just survive. When I look back into my heyday of dating fabulous menfolk I realized it was when I was just out there doing me! So as part of my new life in the Chi, I am excited about what will happen, as I get my money right! This diva is all about the renewed hustle for 2008 b/c this being fiscally challenged thing is for the birds. I'm a superstar dammit and that means money is not a thing!

I'll always remember this Thanksgiving b/c I vow to never ever repeat it. I would rather be going to a spa to relax and renew than feeling like a homeless vagrant.

Light-skinned Girl party, WTF??!!

I am so shamed that this mess went down in Detroit, but even so I still have to call 'em out! I NEVER EVER would have thought a black person would do some mess like this!

Amid furor, DJ cancels party for 'light-skinned' blacks

'I made a mistake,' local party promoter says after Internet backlash.

Oralandar Brand-Williams / The Detroit News

DETROIT -- A local DJ and party promoter retreated Thursday from a plan to sponsor a bash that would let "light-skinned" black women into a downtown club for free.

But the "Light Skin Libra Birthday Bash" at Club APT on Woodward Avenue turned out to be a bashing -- of promoter Ulysses "DJ Lish" Barnes after word of the unusual party spread on the Internet.

"I made a mistake," Barnes said. "I didn't think there would be a backlash."

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Barnes, who said he's been a party promoter for six years, canceled the event.

He said he has gotten angry calls and e-mails from around the country about the party.

"I didn't mean to offend anyone," he said. "I had planned a party for other shades (of black women). We were going to take a shade of color each week. Next week was going to be a party for 'Sexy Chocolate' and the week after that 'Sexy Caramel.' "..... read the entire article here>>

My thoughts

I find it hard to believe that this promoter didn't realize that this concept wouldn't fly. However if it is true, it only shows what a critical state much of our community is in. His willingness to green-light this concept shows a true lack of understanding about the legacy of the color complex in this country. I am reminded of Kanye West's comments about the racially mixed women in the music videos:
"If it wasn't for race mixing there'd be no video girls. Me and most of our friends like mutts a lot. Yeah, in the hood they call 'em mutts". If anyone thought this was no longer an issue, welcome to reality.

Moreover, to play the devil's advocate, if for some strange reason, he still wanted to do this, if he had any sense of consciousness, it would seem that common sense would dictate that you not start with the "light-skinned" girls first. This shows an even deeper disregard for the emotional scars that our melanin-rich sisters carry as they are constantly bombarded with images that say they are not beautiful!


I hope that this young man has learned from this situation and that as a community we can see that it is imperative to educate our youth about our history and culture so that we do not show ourselves to be this ignorant and thoughtless in our endeavors.

To be clear I am 100% in disagreement to this party as a concept considering the history of intra-racial prejudice in our community and suggested that he start with dark-skinned women to simply switch up the all to common deference to less-african looking members of our community, and to give an example of how it would have been taking the sensitive nature of this subject into account.

Where do you weigh in on this issue?