POOF!

I met someone and while things seemed to be going well in an instant he was gone! Its strange b/c it felt good, but then again perhaps my spidey sense was a little off b/c its been awhile since I really connected with anyone. A few great evenings together, long talks about shared interests, and romantic strolls along the riverfront peppered with kisses, hugs, and talks of enjoying the moment, had me starting to feel little giddy and thinking that maybe all was not lost.

It must be noted that this gentleman has a lot on his plate emotionally which is why I tredded lightlly in this engagement and explains why while I am dissapointed, I am not devastated by this strange situation. I would characterize my feeling as that of puzzlement. I really would like to understand why men seem to run from a throughly pleasant experience and then come back months, years later lamenting their decision to leave me for "something else" and expect me to take them back with open arms?

Benefitting from a healthy dose of self-love and a couple years of therapy I get that its not me, at least not in a negative way, but that knowledge doesn't take away the frustration and sadness that there may be no alternative to the occasional FB, lots of platonic friends, and electronic stimulation. So what's A Diva to do?

I know a few things about men. Not a whole lot, but a few things I am 100% convinced of.
a) you cannot make anyone love/like you
b) if a man wants to be with you and is ready, all you have to do is let him know that you are open, and he will come running
c) while it is easy to get into a man's pants, it takes a lot to get into his heart and mind
d) a good looking woman never has to want for male company

So what does this knowledge do to help me in my quest against continual singledom? Not a lot b/c while I can always convice someone to take me out, I cannot make him open his heart if he has decided not to. Moreover, I can't make him stay when he gets scared b/c he's starting to fall for me, and thinks that being open and vulnerable is unacceptable b/c in the past he has only dealt with damaged women.

So when he returns like they all do at some point to tell me that there has never been another like me. Or that they now realize that I am "the one." I simply give them a sweet smile and say thank you, but cannot bring myself to open my heart again to one who threw it away to carelessly when I offered it to him. I don't think that make me bitter b/c I am open to new suitors, just not recycling old ones.

So the current Mr. POOF has officially moved on to the catergory of "another wounded soul" who can't handle me. If he happens to read this, yes I am talking about you luv. I'm not hurt so much as learning from the past that if you are running this soon, you need to work a little more on you before you try to hang with me b/c I don't play games and am not interested in playing hide and seek with you!