Rules for Dating A. Diva

1. Be on time and if you can't, call and let A.Diva know you will be late, can't make it, need to get a raincheck etc. Not showing up or showing up more than 10 minutes late is a deal breaker.
2. In the beginning always ask A. Diva out 2-3 days in advance. A. Diva has shit to do and most likely is not going to be available at the last minute. If you wait till that last minute you will most likely never spend time with A. Diva. Not because A. Diva is not interested, not because she is playing by "the rule," but that she knows better than to drop important things in her life for someone she barely knows and since she doesn't like to sit around bored, she usually has activities scheduled in advance.
3. Be a gentleman. If you are unclear about what that means you probably should not try to date A. Diva. A. Diva is not in the business of teaching men how to be grown. If your mama and daddy did not teach you, please take the time to research it on your own and then you may be ready to date A. Diva
   
4. Be creative and make plans. A. Diva appreciates a man who can show her new things and expand her world. If A. Diva always has to plan everything she will find you boring and look for someone more interesting to spend her time with.
5. Be open to new things. A. Diva likes to keep things fresh and exciting. The thought of doing the same thing everyday is not acceptable. A. Diva will suggest all sorts of activities and adventures to get into, you should be open to a lot if not all of them
   
6. Know how or being willing to learn to dance. A. Diva's all time favorite past-time is dancing and A. Diva loves to partner dance. If you do not already know how to dance with a partner, you should learn and/or be willing to take lessons with A. Diva. If you are not willing, do not try to date A. Diva, she will go out without you and you will be upset when she dances with other men. A. Diva will not stop going out dancing just because she is dating you so it is best that you like to go out too.
   

Sex Object

For the most part, I have always dated with a single purpose, "the possibility of a long-term relationship (LTR) with another person." Not necessarily marriage, but with the intention to create a friendship that last for more than a couple of week or months. The exception to this would be a brief fling after my last long relationship drought.

Fast forward to the present. After about another 2-yr relationship break, I have feel the need for companionship which could or could not include sexual relations. While optimally, I would love to meet someone with true Long-Term potential, I have decided to also be open to a little summer fling. Just a quick dalliance to fulfill this longing for closeness to another human being as I continue to ready myself for Mr. Fantastic! With this in mind I decided I would be willing to overlook some known deal-breakers in exchange for a brief affair.

With my priorities shifted, instead of looking for someone with similar long-term goals, and intellectual/spiritual compatibility, I decided to find a cutie-pie whose personality is not too bad to hang-out with and kick it with for a while (read: until those known deal-breakers start to grate on my nerves so much I need him to go away forever!). I felt okay with this b/c from what I have seen most men are not really interested in relationships and would appreciate my new perspective. Then, I had a convo with my sister about a mutual acquaintance who is without a car right now so he is dating women for the sole purpose of using their cars to get around. That got me to thinking about dating for motives other than love, friendship and companionship such as: sex, money, financial security, free meals, status, etc.. I really felt it was unethical for him to raise these women's expectations up knowing full well that if had his own car he would never even go out with them at all.

So this morning as I showered and contemplated calling one of my "fling potentials" it hit me that perhaps I was being unethical too! If I am reasonably sure that the guy I am going to hang out with will never become more than a funny story to share after I move on, is it wrong to start anything in the first place. I try to live by the golden rule of "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you," and I wouldn't want anyone to agree to see me under that premise.

So I ask the question" When dating, do we need to be upfront about what our intentions are?"

Success

eye Affirmations for Success:

I desire the highest and best in life, and I now draw to myself the highest and best. The right use of my mind is the key to healthy, happy, prosperous, successful living.

I experience peace, health, and plenty in my world. I develop the power of prosperous thinking and reap a harvest of prosperous results.

Everything I touch turns to gold.

It's Official - The Rules are In!

I will accept that no matter how much I want it to be different there are real dating rules that I am going to have to follow in order to get these men to straighten up and fly right.

It seems men really want to be manipulated and seduced into treating a women like a human being. Please note I am asking for what I see as the basics of consideration, but apparently when you are romantically interested in someone common courtesy goes out the window in place of a complex set of rules and guidelines.

It seems that as the woman, I am not allowed to call the man if I want to talk to him. Doing so will turn him off b/c he now does not have to chase me. It doesn't matter that what I want is someone to talk to, I cannot call him. Then when he does finally call me, I have to be sure to end the conversation quickly. It does not matter that I may like to talk longer, I have to adhere to the time limit so that he is left "wanting more."

Apparently men are not attracted to smart, funny, easy going, fun, beautiful, charming, poised, confident , independent women. Instead they are attracted to women whom seem too busy to spend time with them and/or talk with them for long periods of time. Men have to feel like they are overcoming an obstacle and it must always remain this way or he will take you for granted and be and ass.

So despite the fact that I man want a confident, trusted advisor, companion, and lover, the only real role he can play is that of a lover b/c the others would require us to spend lots of time together talking which would result in him feeling smothered and not being challenged. So the fact that I need to feel emotionally and psychologically close to someone before I have sex is not a factor, b/c the things that I need to happen to build that trust and familiarity will ultimately lead to the demise of the relationship b/c I will no longer be a mystery or challenge. The fact that we can talk for hours and have fun doing things together and building a future don't seem to count for much.

With all this in mind, I am back to feeling like there is no real point in dating b/c I can't seem to get what I want.

Passion, Freedom, & Full Self-Expression

These are the three principals by which I have decided to live my life. With that in mind, I have taken a leap of faith and am excited, scared, enthusiastic, and exuberant about! I have been all around the world trying to figure out where my life is heading. I have prayed, meditatied, reasoned, and therapied myself to death to get clarity about my path, purpose, and potential.

I will be working on the transformation of my community and living my dreams. How is that different than before. In some ways not at all, but in others, tremendously. I worked with Junior Achievemen for the past few months and learned a ridiculous amount about what it takes to run a successful and effective not for profit organization.

Moreover, they have provided the missing link in an intiative I have wanted to launch since 2006. Come July 18th I will be working full-time on the behalf of youth in the Chicagoland area with plans to affect the entire nation!

The Transformed Teens program (www.transformedteens.com) is ground-breaking and inspirational. I will be soliciting the support of each and every individual I know to take part in the transformation of our youth into positive powerful achievers. Words cannot adequately expression the joy with which I take on this massive endeavour. I know it will be hard. I know that teens are "special" but I also know that I love each and every one of them b/c the represent unlimited possibility that just needs to be coached and nurtured into existence.

We will be a well-funded organization with a staff of responsible dedicated people working as a community for our youth.

I am finally moving into my own place! As much as I have enjoyed my roommate, full of surprises and and all around great guy, I miss my stuff and feeling truly "at home." It's been quite awhile since I've had that feeling even before I moved I felt I was in a very temporary situation. I think since about 2003 actually. It also happens to be the last time I was in a real relationship, think there is any correlation?

I guess we'll see b/c I plan to enjoy the rest of this summer raising money, making connections, and yes I plan to have a summer romance. It may just be a fling, but sometimes that is just what you need to get the ball rolling again!