What's the Point in Dating? Part 1 & 2

Part 1
I spent this evening in conversation with a gentleman I've been seeing. It's nothing serious, because I've been trying to "Date." I was told the reason I have not had the best of luck with men and relationships is that I have always taken it too seriously. It was explained to me by retired pimpstress T-Mack that it's a numbers game and that the more men you date the higher the odds you'll find someone great!

So as I began my new adventures here in the Chi, I decided to be open. I would try saying "yes," even if there wasn't any "chemistry." I would follow the thought that maybe he's really a great person or has some really cool friends. For most of my life I always felt that when a guy asks you out there is the implicit understanding that he is interested romantically and that my accepting the date you are implying that there is a possibility b/c on some level you are interested too(yes i agree with you J). However, this new strategy says that just b/c you say yes doesn't require you to be interested, you're just becoming friends.

As I am still looking for a job, I'm not trying to spend a whole lot of money. Normally if I go out with friends I pay for myself, so I wasn't comfortable going out with these fellas when I couldn't pay. It just didn't seem right to let them spend their money when I wasn't interested in romance. But, when I explained this to them as the reason I hadn't called or didn't always want to go out, I was told not to worry b/c they just "enjoyed my company." So why do I continue to feel that they want more from me?

It's not surprising as I am quite fabulous, but I can't help that there is nothing there for me. I like what I like and if they are not it, what can I do? I guess this is just to say that I don't understand the point of dating if you're not trying to move towards something more? I don't do casual sex, so if we're not connecting on the spiritual or intellectual planes I can promise we won't be connecting physically! So if there is no chance you getting some tail and you're not interested in something long-term, what is the point in dating? Do some men just really really enjoy the company of women? Should I stop seeing these guys even though they say they are okay with just being friends? My gut says at some point things will get complicated and that I should just take a little break b/c I just don't understand this whole dating thing nowadays.

Part 2

Then on a different tip, what is with this last minute plans thing? Maybe I'm old school, but if you want to spend time with someone doesn't it make since to make plans to see them? I have been dating since moving into town, but have had a number of guys complain or make off-hand remarks about me being "too busy." I'm confused b/c it can't be that they are really surprised that I am not available to drop everything and go-out with them, can they? Please someone tell me, is them how it is nowadays? You call around 5 or 6 to see if she wants to go out around 7 or 8 and actually expect to get a yes? When did it become a bad thing to have a life?

Now to be honest I was making it mean something else. I figured he must not be seriously interested in me if he called at the last minute to make plans. I just put him into the "something to do if bored" category, and made a note not to get too invested b/c he just wasn't that into me (part of my "Its just dating" philosophy). I was informed by a friend that it wasn't necessarily the case, but that nowadays things are just more casual; people don't plan actual dates days in advance, but simply hook up when their schedules happen to allow. While this is new to me, I can accept that, even though I may not like it.

My question is why not? If you have met someone that you say you really want to get to know better, why not set some time apart in your schedule to spend with them? On the other hand why would these guys I literally just met expect me to rearrange my schedule and/or break my plans to spend time with them? Moreover, could they really really be upset and/or offended by the fact that I decline to do so? Are most women so eager to "go out" that they make it their top priority? Am I being strange? Am I being unreasonable? Someone please give me some insight b/c I am truly perplexed! It's not that I don't want to date. It's not that I don't like men. It just that I don't like being an after-though or being taken for granted. I don't think I'm being over-sensitive but maybe I am. I told my roommate I'm going off men for awhile b/c right now dealing with them is not bringing me any joy and right now I only want joy!