What's a Girl to Do?

When you try to lean on someone and they keep letting you down what are you supposed to do just fall over? I'm not going down like that, ever. You want to "save" me, you want to be "hero" then step to the plate and handle your business. I don't know any woman in her right mind that wants to do it all, but hell if I waited on other people to do things for me I would probably be homeless, hungry, knocked up with 2/3/5 kids and trifling. I'm not going to just do enough to keep my head above water and hope and pray that my knight in shining armor comes along to make it all fabulous. I am all for letting go and letting someone help me out, but only if you have shown me that you can be counted on.

Why the angry rant you ask, I just had a conversation where I am told I am too independent. That the reason I can't keep a man is b/c "I don't make him feel needed. Its important that a man feel like he is more than a companion, he needs to feel like he is "providing" for you," and yes that providing has to be financial.

I guess that's why I keep seeing really intelligent successful men with these random women who are either much younger than them, with little or no education, a bunch of kids and drama, or just plan stupid. Why is your head so jacked up that you have to date someone less affluent, less educated or in dire straights to feel good? Why can't you see that in the hierarchy of needs the basics like food & shelter or not the basis for deep meaningful relationship. Once you get your basic needs met, you look for more meaning, more purpose, and can have a real connection.

It's like life, if you are working hard everyday to just get the bills paid, you rarely have time to read, visit museums, have intellectual conversations, or pursue purely recreational activities. On the other hand, when money is out of the way as an option you can develop hobbies, travel and have new experiences, do charitable work, and take your life to another level. When a man and women can come to the table as equals you can have a different type of relationship. You can pick someone whose personality you enjoy rather then whether or not he can pay your bills. Why are men defining their worth by how much money they make and whether or not they can financially "take care" of someone, but at the same time complain about shallow gold-digging women? Why are you not dating successful independent women b/c they don't "need" your money, but then complain that women just want to be in your pocket? If that is all you have to offer then the only women who is going to value you is someone who needs your money. It just seems like it would be easier and more fulfilling to be in a relationship with someone who likes you b/c of your sense of humor, wit, charm, intelligence, and shared interests, but I guess I'm the crazy one.

Most women I know complain that their emotional and intellectual "needs" are not being met. They wish they had someone to talk to, hang out with, experience life with, or build a family with. They really need these things, but I guess many men just don't see the value in "providing" those kinds of things. Sheesh, I just don't know what to do.