Marriage : my thoughts

You can see the full discussion at www.myspace.com/hamlettinternational


Hmm, my take on the whole marriage thing is that there is too much focus on marriage and not enough on relationships, integrity, and commitment. Back in the day of these 40 - 50 year long relationships, people stuck through the good, the bad, and the ugly. It all boils down to commitment (continuing to what you promised to do even though you don't feel like it anymore) and integrity (being a person of your word).

Nowadays people don't take promises seriously, we lie, break agreements, and in general do not respect on another. These actions make for bad relationships in love, business, and friendships.

Marriage is simply a formal legal contract between two people and whatever you decide your marriage is if you have integrity and commitment you should be able to work it out. For some reason though people seem to think it is okay to just renege on their promises.

Then on top of all that, many many many people still hold on to traditional expectations of gender roles in marriage that simply do not fit in with today's lifestyles. I often tell people that I do not want a "husband", I want a partner. I do not want to be a "wife" I want to be a partner. I am not interested in cooking, cleaning, and "taking care" of another adult, which was the role of the traditional wife. I want to be in a long-term committed relationship with a like-minded man who I think is fun to be with, has similar goals, loves and adores me, and is so sexy to me that I look forward to getting freaky with him! Note that I am not looking for someone to pay my bills, take out the garbage, kill bugs, or shovel snow.

If you really talk to many people they still hold on to these values so when they get married and see that A) their partner does not fulfill this traditional role or B) they cannot humanly fulfill this traditional role and be a modern person, problems begin.

People need to go into marriage fully aware of who they plan to be in the relationship, what the other person expects, and what they expect from the other person. If all these things do not line up from the start, DO NOT GET MARRIED!! If they do, you also have to be committed and know that rough patches will come so even when that giddy, mushy, lovey dovey feeling is gone, you stick together and continue to build a life.

Marriage as a concept of two people dedicating their lives to one another is not destined to fail, but it takes a lot of work, honesty, and maturity to really make it a success. I say goodluck to all who are trying and who knows, maybe oneday I'll even give it a whirl!