The Aftermath

My Party was wonderful! Yes I know its been over a week since the big day, but I just got a moment to catch my breath. Last week was the beginning of the Spring class session and I've been busy teaching and promoting.

The day was great, very relaxing. Of all the things I could do, I did laundry. I actually like laundry, it smells good and its soft and wonderful(I do not like having to use the washers in the building and look forward to having my own washer/dryer in my new condo!). I find find folding it calming to my spirit, but please don't send your stuff over for folding, I have enough on my plate.

Next I got a fabulous massage. It was supposed to be and hour, but my body was so tight the therapist kept me on the table for an extra half hour! With all this dancing exercising and working hard, I guess my body was all in knots and really needed to be worked out. When I finally pulled myself off the table, (and it was hard b/c I was near sleep) I ran to the mall for a quick mani/pedi and it was off to the party!

I go to the skating rink a little late (I know, I have this thing about being on time), but got right into it. Yes that's me on the right having a blast. This was all ages skating so there were lots of young people around. They were just zipping past me, and probably laughing at the glamazon in the afro cautiously making her way around the rink, but who cares I was having fun?! Its been a while since I was on skates and can someone please tell me why the roller rink looks exactly like it did over 16 years ago when I went the last time? LOL, I mean the carpet, decor, everything is stuck in the 1980's! Nonetheless, we had fun. My friends and family came ate pizza and cake, skated, and had a great time!

Part two of the party was at the club! I love to dance, and since some people are sooo afraid of looking silly on skates, it was time to get our grown folks groove on. There was food, drinks and lots of dancing. Many of my students showed up and we showed out on the dance floor! My buddy and dance partner Rapture, was the mack for the evening. He and I love to ballroom (Detroit Style), but after he took me out on the floor for my first dance of the evening, he literally had a line of women just waiting to get a turn! I figured I didn't want to get in the way of his groove, so I busied myself playing hostess, hustling with my girls and interrogating the other men in the club about why they refused to dance. All the while Rapture was approached by groups of women. It was hilarious b/c by the time the night was over he was literally soaking wet. I finally snagged him again at the end of the night and ended the evening with a super dip! The birthday drinks flowed non-stop and so did the cash! I spent last week making some great birthday purchases (THX everyone!)

I strongly recommend having a birthday party for yourself, its lots of fun! This past weekend my sister celebrated hers and we had a ball. She rented a limo and we cruising around town. First we stopped at my aunties house for a champagne toast and cake. Next we went to the movies. Let's not forget the champagne in the limo hee hee hee! This theatre has a bar, so we watched the movie while sipping martinis! Then on to dinner! By the time we made it home we had laughed, gotten drunk, and had a great time just being together.

For the record I love my friends and am truly grateful to have all of them in my life. 31 is off the hook so far and the rest of this year is going to be magical. I think have recovered from my last two weekends of revelry and look forward to the next! Ms. Jewel, you're next!

The New Woman

I don't buy the bullshit that the mother has to "stay at home," or not work, in order to raise good children b/c for most of our history, black women weren't even given that as an option and plenty of "good children" were raised back in the day. For those who were "at home" they had a cottage industry business like doing other people's laundry. Most black women have always had to work.

With that said, I resent criticism of educated women who are financially independent and single by "choice" as emasculating or man-hating. Let me tell you what has changed about the "new woman." She is "choosing" to be single rather than settle for a "piece" of a man. The Temptations' song "Papa Was a Rolling Stone" speaks to the mindset of many men that they should have their pick of where to lay their hat, and that many women just accepted it. You should not be mad at me for no longer allowing you to disrespect me by being openly unfaithful and trying to curl up in my bed when and if you feel like it. You have emasculated yourselves by walking out on your families, failing to keep your commitment to your wives, and being generally irresponsible. We have finally decided to stop taking up with these little boys in men's bodies.

So when we say "I don't need a man?" The full statement is this, "I don't need man who is disrespectful, irresponsible, immature, selfish, inconsiderate, whorish, lazy, jealous, or abusive." or "I don't need a man who refuses to treat me like a human being with emotional needs, will not make-love to me, only wants to fuck me" or even"I don't need a man gives me money when what I really want is love and intimacy." "I don't need a man to validate me or make me feel like a woman!"

I have yet to meet an educated black woman who, if given the opportunity would not jump, leap, or sprint at the chance to be in a relationship where she feels loved, honored, cherished, stimulated, respected, and valued. Everyone I know would love to cater to her man, and inspire him to be the best he can be. She wants to support him and make him happy, but not at her own expense. The "new" woman understands that her value as a person is not tied to whether or not she has a "man" or has "children." She allows herself to be happy with herself even if here vagina is not being filled by a dick on a consistent basis or if she hasn't popped out a child. She knows her significant contributions to the world can be more than cooking meals, cleaning houses, sewing clothes, birthing babies, and being a penis receptacle (I however, am not saying there is anything wrong with being a homemaker and/or stay at home mom or wanting pleasing your man sexually). She does not think that to be a "good woman" she has to sacrifice her happiness for her husband and children.

If you want be with this woman, she demands she get more than her basic needs met. No you can't keep her happy her by keeping a roof over her head, clothes on her back, food on the table, or by fucking her every so often. Beyond that, nowadays, most guys aren't even willing to provide the basics so you can be a stay at home mom or homemaker. I've heard it a million times, " I ain't taking care of nobody." In addition, they don't even know how to please a woman in bed. They honestly thing that just b/c they have a big dick they can satisfy you. Lol, please you can get a woman happy sexually with no dick if you're talented enough with your hands, mouth, and purchase a few "accessories."

I'm confused what exactly are these guys think they bring to the relationship and why they think anyone would want to be with them? These same guys seem to expect her to not only go out and work and contribute to the household financially, she should also cook, clean, have babies, stay in shape, fuck on demand, and be happy about it too. Why exactly should we be jumping at the chance to be in a relationship? Does that sound fun to you?

So its not that we don't need men. Everyone wants companionship. Human beings need love, intimacy, and yes sex! But that's not what we are being offered. We are being offered a little cash and a penis. Well I have a job which provides me with plenty of cash, and I can buy a penis. I in fact I can get a penis that vibrates, rotates, pulsates, and will never ever cheat on me! What I cannot buy is a cuddle-buddy, a travel partner, a debate partner, a comforting hug, a loving caress, an encouraging word, a listening ear, or a friend.

Don't complain that there are no good women when what you really mean is you can't find a woman willing to let you walk all over her. Don't call all black women attitudinal, gold-diggers, or unfaithful when all you are offering is money or dick. What you expect? If all you did catch a woman is spend money on her, are you really surprised when all she does is ask you for money or leaves you when someone with even more money throws it her way? If some woman stays with you just b/c you can fuck well, why are you surprised if she has multiple partners or leaves for a man with a bigger dick that can please her more? Does it really surprise you that you get a lot of attitude when you continually act a damn fool? Step up, contribute to the relationship, and be a real partner or be satisfied with gold-digging, promiscuous, nagging women!

That is all
xxx

Sigh... A change is coming

Have you ever had your worst nightmare come true? Nonetheless I'm going to keep this positive so its about what will happen vs. what is right now.

I have faith that the man I find attractive, stimulating, and fun, who desires me for more than my womb, vagina, cooking and cleaning skills, physique, and "prettiness" is on his way in the next 3 months. This man who loves my ambition, drive, intelligence, community focus, wit, insight, and sense of adventure will enter my life and we will spend the rest of our lives living, laughing, growing and developing together. We will have a family of both birth and adopted children b/c he will understand that whether or not a child carries his genes, its important that black people of means provide loving homes for the many orphaned black children.

We will travel the world, visit amazing places, have great adventures, spend many nights snuggled on the couch watching random TV, and look forward to seeing one another when we are apart. We will go out dancing, dining, and date until we die b/c we enjoy so many of the same things that we always have fun together.

We will transform the world around us with our joy and passion. He is there and I will feel cherished, adored, respected, appreciated, considered, and complete with him. He will not feel the need to compete with me b/c he will understand that what is meant for him is in no way related to what is meant for me. We will support one another in pursuit of our dreams. I will be able to treat him royally and be his every fantasy as he is mine.

This dream relationship, is coming and every one will be amazed at how much love I have in my life and know that it is always worth waiting for b/c when you get what is meant for you it is soo sweet that any heartache, loneliness, and despair you ever felt will be erased.

BOO HOO, I'm a baby

Why oh why are schools in Washington State trying to ban booing, heckling, and other forms of intimidation and distraction at school sporting events? I am all in favor of creating positive environments, but this is foolishness.

I have several friends and associates who are parents and educators and the more I speak with them about what's going on the more I see why I as an employer have difficulty finding competent staff.

We are coddling our kids and creating soft idiotic adults! Life is hard, no one gets second chances in the real world. If your boss tells you to get something done and you drop the ball, your ass will end up employed right? So please tell why when these little clowns don't turn in their homework for an entire semester, teachers are ordered to give them make up assignments so that they won't fail?

We are not doing them any favors just pushing them through and giving them the easy way out. So when they get to me and their asses don't come to work on time or deliver half-ass assignment's and get shown the door, they're confused because they always used to get make-up credit. There are no makeup credits in the real world sweetie, sorry. The whole point of parenting and educating children is to prepare them for the REAL WORLD. No one loves you out here.

I, a hardworking, thorough talented person have had my ass handed to me several times b/c no one told me about how to play the Office Politics game. See I thought all you had to do was work hard, be honest, and play nice and the world would be mine. WRONG, I had to learn to the hard way its not just what you know, its who you know, and how you work it.

We need to teach these kids what's really up. If these athletes make it to the NBA, NFL, or Major Leagues people will heckle distract and do all other sorts of things. One of the marks of a good player is his or her ability to focus in spite of the obstacles in their path. I remember having to tune-out the jeers, hisses, and hecklers as I stood at the free throw line to take the shot. Back then it was 3 bounces, 2 rotations of the rock, and a strong follow-through, the rest of it didn't matter. Now as an adult, whenever the going gets rough I just tune-out the haters and focus on my goals.

I really worry about the future, b/c I see a bunch of little punks coming out of the school systems who think we owe them something. I'll just say this, if your child comes to work for or with me, they better be able to handle the pressure or I'll have to show 'em the door.

Can I get a. . .?

Of course you can! You can have whatever you want, but do you know what that is? I love this whole "The Secret" craze. I first found about it via a couple of seminars I went to and reading on wealth and prosperity.

No a lot of people know what they don't want, but that doesn't really help does it? I knew back in 1995, actually 1994 that I didn't want to be an engineer, but I just couldn't figure out what I wanted to be. So I started looking, but it took some time. It wasn't until I got myself away from all the people who had my confused about whether or not I was messing up my life and focused on "finding myself" that things began to change.

Now keep in mind that I spent the first 18 - 21 years listening to other people's thoughts, but once I took control and I rememer reading Think and Grow Rich which starts out with "Thoughts are Things," that I know things had to change. I had to clear my space of these influences that were keeping me confused and in turmoil. That meant my friends, family, music, tv, anything and everuthing that was not about what I wanted my life to be.

I'm here again and super excited about it. I need to watch the secret just b/c its good to fill your mind with positivity! I like to be reminded just how powerful I am and what I can make happen. So look out brothers, I'm coming for you next!

Pot for Tots

Okay so I know we're going to weigh in differently on whether or not marijuana should be legal, but I hope we all can agree that 2 & 4 year olds do not need to smoke...anything!

I was attempting to go to sleep and I see this foolishness on several news channels and yes I was shamed b/c they were black men giving it to little children :-(.

I just don't understand people's thought process sometimes. I am soooo shamed.