What's Next

It has to be more than talking about "it." I feel like people weren't hearing Russell Simmons who talked about the root of the problem. While I am not a fan of the gangsta rap and ghetto foolishness I understand that the music is just a symptom of a bigger problem. To some extent its economic, but it is also psychological, emotional and spiritual.

I have said that my people here suffer from chronic low self-esteem. We don't love ourselves so as a result we treat one another like dirt. We call each other niggers, bitches, hoes and all other sorts of things. No I'm not surprised Don Imus said it, but no it doesn't make it right.

In these discussions we jump from slavery to rap music and there is a whole lot in between. Slavery and segregation planted the seeds of negativity and self-hate, but this issue has grown into a full-grown weed. Forcing rappers and musicians to change their lyrics and firing people like don imus is like cutting of the top of the weed. We all know it will just come back again and again unless you get the root.

So how do we collectively address poor self-image, low self-esteem, lack of integrity, hopelessness, desperation, and depression? It's caused by environment. I grew up in Detroit, MI and I can tell you first hand what an impoverished depressed environment can do to a people.

I feel like some people point the finger at people like Oprah and say look she came from a poor environment and now she's a mogul, but we all know she is the exception and not the rule. There are some people who are born superstars. They are visionaries and are able to overcome any adversity put in their path, but most people are not. However, if given a positive environment and a fair chance these people would become productive members of society.

My mom was like Oprah. She didn't come from a privileged home, but she was a striver nonetheless. She wanted more for herself and raised me to be the same way. She exposed my sister and I to a variety of things and taught us that we could be ANYTHING we wanted if we simply worked hard. She taught us to believe in ourselves by showing us she had confidence in us and accepting nothing less than our best.

I am a product of my environment and while I am not an Oprah I am a superstar in my own right. I own my own business, finished college, and shining example of a strong beautiful positive black woman, so tell me why and I seen as the exception and not the rule? Why are people shocked to find out I have a college degree and no children at 31? Why was it the same at 21?

We have to love on our youth and help them transcend their environment. We have to help them believe in themselves and help them find the strength to dream of being more than a street hustle or baby mama. Every affluent black family should adopt at least one black orphan and every black person should be a mentor.

We, the sophisticated, educated, privileged, and affluent, are failing our community everyday by not living amongst ourselves or at a minimum spending time among the less fortunate. Its not about clothing drives or food baskets around the holiday season, its about driving your BMW into the "hood" and letting these boys know that they can have a tight whip without selling drugs, being a professional athlete, or being a rapper. It's letting little girls know that they can be executives, business owners, teachers, doctors, massage therapists and more than a welfare queen. It's letting them see examples of black families with husbands, wives, and children at every income level.

It struck me a couple of years ago that my childhood was unique in that I grew up in a two parent home, was a product of planned parent-hood and saw a loving relationship modeled for me. I am so unique that most men and women think my criteria for being in a relationship and having children is weird. The guys who want to date me think I am "high maintenance" because I require you to treat me like a queen. I don't know anything else b/c that is what I saw everyday in my home growing up. My father loved my mother and even though she passed away over ten years ago, he still tears up at the mention of her name.

No we can't fix the broken homes, but we can open our arms to these children and let them see that there is another way. It's a shame that many black children think black folks don't get married or have good credit. So many people say to me, "you don't plan to have kids, it just happens." We have to show them that you make life happen instead of it happening to you.

In summary, those of us who are able to participate in town hall meetings and have great esoteric discussions need to stop philosophizing and start doing. For all these single professional women sad about never having found a man, gotten married, and having a family should become mothers, aunties, and big sisters to all these youth out here without parents or fools for parents. These teenage moms need the guidance of older women to help them be good parents. We need retired teachers to come together and create after school programs to help these kids with homework and supplement the joke that is the public school system.

Let's stop talking and start doing. Oprah we need some schools here in Detroit b/c the Detroit Public School system is dropping the ball big time. Bill Cosby, but your money where your mouth is and let's start some parenting and life skills programs for the youth. To all my executives, senior managers, factory workers, and skilled-tradesmen let's start volunteering, mentoring, and participating. Spend less time shopping for shoes and going to the club and more time giving back to your community. Let's praise them and raise our youth and watch how our community begins to flourish.