Where I am and Where I wanna be

My whole crew is going skiing in Vail this January for MLK weekend. I love to ski and would love to go to Vail, CO. I have never been there before and we have a phat condo thanks to my BFF's mom's law firm. So here's the deal. I am starting a self-development program that same weekend and I can't miss the first day which is Sat Jan 19th! Everyone is like, why don't you just push the workshop back and go skiing? I am torn. I love my peeps! I miss the babies, and a few days kicking it on the slopes would be nice BUT.... Here's the thing. I am in the midst of transition. I just moved here and I'm still looking for a job, so getting a plane ticket would be a feat. Plus this workshop is all about learning advanced communication skills to build a community of people around you so you can realize your dreams!

If I had to admit one thing I don't seem to be great at, it's building a team of people around me so that my dreams come true! I am great at coming up with projects. I can even get people excited and on board, but time and time again the team has fallen apart when things get going. I get that I have a little trouble with communication, thus, why I am committed to this course. I want to have a massive transformation in my life around my relationships. If I push back the workshop, I would have to wait until March sometime. Moreover, if I go to this weekend, I don't know if I will be able to afford another weekend with more social potential. The previous weekend there is a group of young black professionals going skiing. I feel that that event would be more inline with my current life goals of meeting people and being more social than going to Vail with my long-time. In the past when we have gone skiing on non-black ski weekends, once we get off the slopes there is nothing to do, but just hang out in the rooms, and I found it a little boring, I don't want to experience that again. This exact scenario is what prompted me to start my annual ski weekend King of the Mountain back in 2000.

Everyone is like, I can't believe you're going to miss a weekend with the babies, just to do some workshop. Much like my decision to sell my dance studio and move, I feel like I have to do whatever it takes to create a new life for myself that I am happy in. To me the answer is clear, I am not going to Vail in Jan, but I dread the pressure that will be put upon me to change this decision. All I know is that there are some areas of my life where I am dissatisfied and if anything is going to change, I have to be pro-active, so while I love all my peeps, I am going to have to stay and work on myself and I'll make a special trip down to the ATL to spend with them all!

I don't want you luv!

Really, just b/c I say nice things to you and doll out the praise like you are the king of the world, I am okay with us being friends. Unlike a lot of people my compliments and well-wishes are not always attached to an ulterior motive. If you are fine you're fine, if you smart you're smart, and if I'm feeling you, well I'm feeling you, whatever.

Then, please keep in mind that even if I think you are the hottest thing on the block, if you're not sweatin' me, it's whatever. I am A Diva in the truest sense of the word. I like all eyes to be on me, and if you are not all up in my face lovin on me and telling me how fabulous I am, we can be friends.

Its not like I am lacking male attention. Whenever I leave the house I get plenty of it. I know I look good, but so what? Hell if it was all about looks I would be a fucking millionaire married with a couple of kids by now. I'm looking for the special something that clicks when its right and you be fine like Boris K or maybe a little funny looking like Chris T, either way when its right its right!

So don't be scared luv. Don't think I'm coming to get you. I will keep it on the friend tip until or unless you get with the Afro Diva program. When you come to your senses and realize you have the baddest chick around available to you, we can make it happen. Until then, no there are no benefits with this friend. Either we're together or we're not, I don't walk the in between line, it makes things waaaaaaay to complicated. Until then, just soak up all the love and appreciation I shower upon you, it makes me feel good to spread good feelings around.

The Aftermath

My Party was wonderful! Yes I know its been over a week since the big day, but I just got a moment to catch my breath. Last week was the beginning of the Spring class session and I've been busy teaching and promoting.

The day was great, very relaxing. Of all the things I could do, I did laundry. I actually like laundry, it smells good and its soft and wonderful(I do not like having to use the washers in the building and look forward to having my own washer/dryer in my new condo!). I find find folding it calming to my spirit, but please don't send your stuff over for folding, I have enough on my plate.

Next I got a fabulous massage. It was supposed to be and hour, but my body was so tight the therapist kept me on the table for an extra half hour! With all this dancing exercising and working hard, I guess my body was all in knots and really needed to be worked out. When I finally pulled myself off the table, (and it was hard b/c I was near sleep) I ran to the mall for a quick mani/pedi and it was off to the party!

I go to the skating rink a little late (I know, I have this thing about being on time), but got right into it. Yes that's me on the right having a blast. This was all ages skating so there were lots of young people around. They were just zipping past me, and probably laughing at the glamazon in the afro cautiously making her way around the rink, but who cares I was having fun?! Its been a while since I was on skates and can someone please tell me why the roller rink looks exactly like it did over 16 years ago when I went the last time? LOL, I mean the carpet, decor, everything is stuck in the 1980's! Nonetheless, we had fun. My friends and family came ate pizza and cake, skated, and had a great time!

Part two of the party was at the club! I love to dance, and since some people are sooo afraid of looking silly on skates, it was time to get our grown folks groove on. There was food, drinks and lots of dancing. Many of my students showed up and we showed out on the dance floor! My buddy and dance partner Rapture, was the mack for the evening. He and I love to ballroom (Detroit Style), but after he took me out on the floor for my first dance of the evening, he literally had a line of women just waiting to get a turn! I figured I didn't want to get in the way of his groove, so I busied myself playing hostess, hustling with my girls and interrogating the other men in the club about why they refused to dance. All the while Rapture was approached by groups of women. It was hilarious b/c by the time the night was over he was literally soaking wet. I finally snagged him again at the end of the night and ended the evening with a super dip! The birthday drinks flowed non-stop and so did the cash! I spent last week making some great birthday purchases (THX everyone!)

I strongly recommend having a birthday party for yourself, its lots of fun! This past weekend my sister celebrated hers and we had a ball. She rented a limo and we cruising around town. First we stopped at my aunties house for a champagne toast and cake. Next we went to the movies. Let's not forget the champagne in the limo hee hee hee! This theatre has a bar, so we watched the movie while sipping martinis! Then on to dinner! By the time we made it home we had laughed, gotten drunk, and had a great time just being together.

For the record I love my friends and am truly grateful to have all of them in my life. 31 is off the hook so far and the rest of this year is going to be magical. I think have recovered from my last two weekends of revelry and look forward to the next! Ms. Jewel, you're next!

Friends

I've got this friend, we'll call her "Belle"
Known her for years, longer than I'll tell

She's always been special, its part of her charm
We'd laugh at her antics, but were never alarmed

At our last reunion, the vibe was new
She was being extreme, acting a fool

I reached my limit, and we fell out
I wasn't wrong, she should watch her mouth

I love my friend, but she worries me so
Makes unwise choices, picks the wrong road

Do I call to say something, put things right
Say that I'm sorry, we even had the fight?

When is enough enough, where is the line
Do I call her on the bullshit, is it finally time?

Will serve any good, what will it change?
she's a grown woman, even if she's insane.

I know I've changed, my patience is short
I don't have time for foolishness, of any sort

I'm not petty or bougie, ghetto or wild
I'm very down to earth, but have my own style

We all have to grow up, and take charge of our lives
Don't blame mommy or daddy, our husbands or wives

Make a move, take a chance, develop a plan
If you don't do a thing, you'll remain where you stand

Relationships run their course, maybe this is done
Perhaps its a brief parting, or setting of the sun

Only time will tell, I'll let the spirit be my guide
Should I let it all out, or keep it inside?

I hope we can recover, its been a good run
Good friends are hard to find, I don't want to lose one.