Friends First then Lovers?

I am being confronted in my social life. I decided I would do this dating thing and be open to finding love and I truly believe I have been giving it a go, but none of this makes any sense to me. Sometimes I think I may be too logical, but it is who I am and I really don't want to change it.

When I meet a guy I may or may not been immediately attracted to him physically. It is just rare that I meet the "perfect" man strictly from a physical standpoint and even in the rare case that someone who is like my ultimate fantasy shows up, I'm still not going to have relations immediately. I find random sex to be nasty. Sorry, it's just how I see it. I can't imagine getting intimate with a complete stranger.

So when I meet a fellow who I think has the potential to be something more than just an acquaintance or even a friend,meaning, I like his style, his personality seems cool, yes he is attractive, and dammit yes his body of off the hook! I want to know if everything I think about him is true. I want to see if we can be friends before I move into a physical relationship with him. I don't think this is strange, but I am getting major resistance from grown men who claim to be ready to have "real" relationships and not just hook ups/jump offs/ etc..

So why does my behavior seem to be so strange to them? Call me crazy, but I think it is obvious that sex complicates things. It can overshadow the opportunity to create a real friendship b/c rather than spending time creating a true relationship, you often spend a lot of time having sex. Sex is good, I like it, it's lots of fun, but I know at that it takes more than a physical connection to create a relationship.

I would like to where my other grown ups weigh in on this topic. When you are looking for a serious relationship, do you hold off on physical intimacy or does it matter? If you do wait, how long does it take before you do the do? Do you need to be friends first if you want to be more than just lovers?

Single Saved & Having Sex

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Great Item for discussion, here are my thoughts

Hmm, I might get put on blast for this one, but I don't buy it. I spent most of my life "saved," and it just wasn't worth it. I was unsatisfied, miserable, and confused. Don't get me wrong, I see how someone who spent most of her life running the streets acting a fool can try and back it up, but there is no sense in going to the other extreme b/c you feel guilty about your past.

I was born and raised in a christian household and am one of the few people who really tried to follow all the church doctrines to the hilt. When most people were being "adolescents" and living crazy I was praying and being 'christ-like." While my college roommate had more than her share of gentlemen callers, I remained true to my convictions.

However as I matured in my walk with God I learned, that there is a happy medium and I have found it. I have moved past the evangelical, fanatical phase and found a peaceful place where I have a positive relationship with myself, god, and the rest of the world.

As a single woman who respects her temple, I know that God wants us to be sexual, but safe too. Who we chose to connect with should be done with great discernment and reflection. In the meantime, self-gratification is a safe way to release sexual tension without bonding with those not meant for us. In addition, we need to work on positive ways to get our intimate needs met, such as loving touch (non-sexual) and real frienships b/c you can't wait around for a "relationship." People "back-slide" b/c the outdated rituals and rule books of most churches and religions do not address the very human need to be loved, feel desired, and feel connected with other humans.

Sorry, eventhough Ty Adams is in my home town, I can't get with what I read here.