So What About Oprah?

Ms. O did a town hall today on the fall out of the Imus issue today and although its been overshadowed by the foolishness at Virginia Tech I would love to get some feedback. I know a lot of people think she is out of touch and doubted whether or not she would use her show as a platform for this topic. So now that she has what else is there to say?

Oprah gets a lot of hate from some members of the black community b/c she super successful, single and childless. Sound ridiculous I know, but sadly its true. I have had men actually say that they hate her b/c they see her as a competitor b/c she hasn't had any children! I admire Ms. O b/c she embodies excellence, style, grace, and benevolence. Despite what some say, I have yet to hear anything about her to truly make me question my respect for her. Sure she is a tough lady, and I doubt she lets anyone get away with anything, but what else do you expect. If she did anything less she wouldn't be a billionaire!!

I continue to appreciate her for doing what she does and if anyone ever questioned her "blackness" can we please just leave it alone. EVERYONE in the black community she look to her as an inspiration and example of what you can achieve no matter where you come from!

29, 30, .....

I'm entering the 4th quarter of my 30th year and of course 2006 is coming to a rapid end. Like most I tend to do my share of reflection assessment and introspection. I have a friend who just hit 29 and as I read his blog and observe his being I am reminded of me at 29. LOL i now it sounds a bit pretentious as that was just a year ago, but I distinctly remember how I felt March of 2005 knowing that in 1 year I would hit another big milestone.

It wasn't dreadful.;I wasn't hating seeing my 20's come to an end; it was inspirational. I had become increasingly dissatisfied with my job. I wasn't seeing things happen and it seemed like no matter how hard I pushed things just weren't moving. So by the time my birthday rolled around I knew somethings had to change.

I took a little trip to visit a friend (much like the one a I took a couple of weeks ago, well not really as there was no "extra" stuff going on) but as usual for me a change in scenery really helps me find focus. I knew that there would be major changes and that some of the people I was aligned with would have to go unless they made some changes. I felt like that by March 16, 2006 things had to be REALLY REALLY different.

Well I did it. By May of '05 I'd quit my job, split from my partners, and moved into a new place. Essentially, I turned my life upside down, but it felt GREAT! As the big 30 loomed ever closer I was moved to kick things into higher gear and take on any and every project that could move me forward. My July my newest and current project was revealed to me and I took it on with great fervor.

When my birthday hit, I threw myself a great celebration. FLIRTY 30 was fabulous and I was great having friends family and associates gathered to wish me well. Things were really really different. I was self-employed, and living my dream (or was it a nightmare? still trying to figure it out). Things weren't perfect, but as I had to remind myself and others who have asked when are they? They weren't perfect when I had a "job" they weren't perfect when I worked for myself. Or maybe that's the way its supposed to be.

This year has been tumultuous and full of excitement. I have impressed myself, but I still find myself driven to do more. There are things I have hesitated on and areas where fear has stopped me, but still I persevere and I vow that by 31, I will have conquered a few more demons (maybe I'll actually trying dating again).

I am staying focused and will push through the pain, revel in the joy, and be content with the in between. I just told a friend not to let anyone talk you out of anything you really want to do. The last thing you want to do is have regrets. As of today I can honestly say I have had adventure, romance, heartbreak, and euphoria, and despair, but this has been and will continue to be a life worth living!

Because sometimes I forget

Hmm, this didn't happen to me, but damn if it hasn't jolted my crazy behind back into reality. A friend of mine just lost someone close to him and while my heart went out to him, her, and her family it wasn't until last night that it really hit me.

My mother died January 20, 1995. I was a sophmore in college when my bestfriend/roommate answered the call from my sister at home. Then much like now, it took me a moment to process things and deal with it. I'm pretty good in a crisis for this reason, but when it hits me, it hits hard. My mother had struggled for years with Multiple Sclerosis, and while her death wasn't unexpected, it didn't hurt any less. Although many people would find it hard to believe b/c I am told I come off as a real tough cookie, I am extremely sensitive. I have to work hard to protect my feelings b/c otherwise I spend my life being hurt, sad and distraught. With that said just hear about losing someone close brings up memories and emotions.

As for me, when I was driving home from my Dad's house last night I got into car accident. It wasn't bad, I'm fine (although the Jeep has looked better), but only by the grace of god. I have been feeling uninspired and eventhough my recent retreat helped put a little pep in my step, things were still a bit off. While I intellectually understood my friend's loss, I distanced myself emotionally b/c I didn't want to go into an "I miss my Mother, why did she have to die?" cycle of sadness. The thing is, its not about that. Its about life and the lessons I got from her before she died and those I continue to get now. So I'm thinking the universe decided to send me a little stronger message, and literally knock some sense into me :-).

So this morning after moving past my anger of getting into the accident I decided to look for the lesson. What I got is that you just never know what is going to happen so don't take anything for granted. That accident really could have been a lot worse, so that little encounter just reminded me that we don't know how long we have so don't waste a lot of time on bullshit. You have the choice to make each day and your life something special or just let time pass you by.

That got me thinking about TJ's Bravebird so I took a moment to read some of the posts from this young lady and found out she had a little girl. Then that just made me cry b/c it reminded me of all the lonliness I feel without my Mom being here and made me sad for her little one. Then as I read her sister's farewell post, my heart was encouraged b/c I know she (the little sister) won't let that little cutie want for anything, so she'll be alright. I didn't know this woman, but it seems like she was one of those people who attracted postivity and served to inspire others. My mom was like that and sometimes I think these special souls are destined to to burn bright and move on b/c they have other work to do.

Then back to me and my life. For the most part, I have been living big. Since my mom's death I have vowed to do it big and have no regrets. That sentiment is at odds with most of the world and while I started out with a bang in the past 6 years since being back in Detroit, I have felt my fire beginning to dim. On my recent trip, someone asked isn't it depressing here when I described the city and to be honest I have to say, yes. Now of course one has the choice of whether or not to let their environment dictate their state of mind, but why make it an issue? I have enough battles to fight without trying to negate the affects of a negative city. I have done many things and I have stories for days about adventures and cool things that I did, but I don't want to live in the past. My life isn't over! I came back here in 1999 with specific goals. I said I would stick it out through 2006 to make some things happen, and as we bring the year to a close I know its time to move on. It's been on my heart for a couple of years now, but I let fear and stubborness keep me here. So 2007 is all about making moves both in my life and in my living environment. This will be a year of endings and of course when one thing ends another begins!

I want to say thank you to Miss Rainbow for inspiring me without ever having met me, thank you to the universe for my wakeup call, and thank you to my mother from bringing me into this world and preparing me to take it on. I have blessings overflowing and I am truly grateful for my friends (old and new) and family who continually love and support me.

I know my purpose in life and I promise to stay focused on being a "Passionate, intelligent, woman who will positively affect the state of her community while living a full balanced life that she loves!"

--> K