Single Saved & Having Sex

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Great Item for discussion, here are my thoughts

Hmm, I might get put on blast for this one, but I don't buy it. I spent most of my life "saved," and it just wasn't worth it. I was unsatisfied, miserable, and confused. Don't get me wrong, I see how someone who spent most of her life running the streets acting a fool can try and back it up, but there is no sense in going to the other extreme b/c you feel guilty about your past.

I was born and raised in a christian household and am one of the few people who really tried to follow all the church doctrines to the hilt. When most people were being "adolescents" and living crazy I was praying and being 'christ-like." While my college roommate had more than her share of gentlemen callers, I remained true to my convictions.

However as I matured in my walk with God I learned, that there is a happy medium and I have found it. I have moved past the evangelical, fanatical phase and found a peaceful place where I have a positive relationship with myself, god, and the rest of the world.

As a single woman who respects her temple, I know that God wants us to be sexual, but safe too. Who we chose to connect with should be done with great discernment and reflection. In the meantime, self-gratification is a safe way to release sexual tension without bonding with those not meant for us. In addition, we need to work on positive ways to get our intimate needs met, such as loving touch (non-sexual) and real frienships b/c you can't wait around for a "relationship." People "back-slide" b/c the outdated rituals and rule books of most churches and religions do not address the very human need to be loved, feel desired, and feel connected with other humans.

Sorry, eventhough Ty Adams is in my home town, I can't get with what I read here.

Kwanzaa is a made up holiday

"Kwanzaa is a made up holiday"

I hear it a lot, and its funny to me because all holidays are made up. Really think about it, someone decided to celebrate Easter, Christmas, Hannahka and everything else.
So just b/c the Black or African American culture evolved hundreds of years after other religions, or cultural groups, we are not allowed to makeup our own traditions?

Hmm instead of trying to find fault with a group of displaced, opressed, and generally mis-treated working to create a sense of unity, shared-traditions and cultural pride, why not support it?

Sometimes, the worst ones are the faith-based people who just can't seem to understand that all holidays are not about God. Look at Valentine's. I don't see any ministers trying to disuade people from buying chocolates flowers and gifts. Is just that this is a specific holiday created for black people that makes it so bad to them?

In my cursory study of various cultures, religous groups and cohesive communities, there is always at least a few shared traditions that serve to bring the group together. As black people share a variety of religions from Christianity to Islam to Buddism, we can't rely on religion to unify us.

Yes we need to be unified b/c although we may not act as a single group, when the world looks at us, they see us as one. Most of the time they don't distinguish you as a black christian, black muslim, black atheist, or black jew (yes they exist) they see you as black. We are treated as a group, yet do not function as one.

Kwanzaa may not be the perfect holiday (whatever that means) but I challenge you to find a real problem with it. It simply promotes community values that if we truly worked to embody would propell Black people foward leading to emplowerment and mass success!

I don't celebrate Kwanzaa according to the strict 7-day, plan but you can do something simple like getting your family and friends together at least one night throughout the week to acknowledge the positive aspects of the celebration.

FYI: The Nguzu Saba (Seven Principles of Kwanzaa) are:
more info @ The Official Kwanzaa Web Site>>

	Umoja (Unity) To strive for and maintain unity in the family, community, nation and race.
	Kujichagulia (Self-Determination) To define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves and speak for ourselves.
	Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility) To build and maintain our community together and make our brother's and sister's problems our problems and to solve them together.
	Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics) To build and maintain our own stores, shops and other businesses and to profit from them together.
	Nia (Purpose) To make our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore our people to their traditional greatness.
	Kuumba (Creativity) To do always as much as we can, in the way we can, in order to leave our community more beautiful and beneficial than we inherited it.
	Imani (Faith) To believe with all our heart in our people, our parents, our teachers, our leaders and the righteousness and victory of our struggle

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