Passion, Freedom, & Full Self-Expression

These are the three principals by which I have decided to live my life. With that in mind, I have taken a leap of faith and am excited, scared, enthusiastic, and exuberant about! I have been all around the world trying to figure out where my life is heading. I have prayed, meditatied, reasoned, and therapied myself to death to get clarity about my path, purpose, and potential.

I will be working on the transformation of my community and living my dreams. How is that different than before. In some ways not at all, but in others, tremendously. I worked with Junior Achievemen for the past few months and learned a ridiculous amount about what it takes to run a successful and effective not for profit organization.

Moreover, they have provided the missing link in an intiative I have wanted to launch since 2006. Come July 18th I will be working full-time on the behalf of youth in the Chicagoland area with plans to affect the entire nation!

The Transformed Teens program (www.transformedteens.com) is ground-breaking and inspirational. I will be soliciting the support of each and every individual I know to take part in the transformation of our youth into positive powerful achievers. Words cannot adequately expression the joy with which I take on this massive endeavour. I know it will be hard. I know that teens are "special" but I also know that I love each and every one of them b/c the represent unlimited possibility that just needs to be coached and nurtured into existence.

We will be a well-funded organization with a staff of responsible dedicated people working as a community for our youth.

I am finally moving into my own place! As much as I have enjoyed my roommate, full of surprises and and all around great guy, I miss my stuff and feeling truly "at home." It's been quite awhile since I've had that feeling even before I moved I felt I was in a very temporary situation. I think since about 2003 actually. It also happens to be the last time I was in a real relationship, think there is any correlation?

I guess we'll see b/c I plan to enjoy the rest of this summer raising money, making connections, and yes I plan to have a summer romance. It may just be a fling, but sometimes that is just what you need to get the ball rolling again!

Friends First then Lovers?

I am being confronted in my social life. I decided I would do this dating thing and be open to finding love and I truly believe I have been giving it a go, but none of this makes any sense to me. Sometimes I think I may be too logical, but it is who I am and I really don't want to change it.

When I meet a guy I may or may not been immediately attracted to him physically. It is just rare that I meet the "perfect" man strictly from a physical standpoint and even in the rare case that someone who is like my ultimate fantasy shows up, I'm still not going to have relations immediately. I find random sex to be nasty. Sorry, it's just how I see it. I can't imagine getting intimate with a complete stranger.

So when I meet a fellow who I think has the potential to be something more than just an acquaintance or even a friend,meaning, I like his style, his personality seems cool, yes he is attractive, and dammit yes his body of off the hook! I want to know if everything I think about him is true. I want to see if we can be friends before I move into a physical relationship with him. I don't think this is strange, but I am getting major resistance from grown men who claim to be ready to have "real" relationships and not just hook ups/jump offs/ etc..

So why does my behavior seem to be so strange to them? Call me crazy, but I think it is obvious that sex complicates things. It can overshadow the opportunity to create a real friendship b/c rather than spending time creating a true relationship, you often spend a lot of time having sex. Sex is good, I like it, it's lots of fun, but I know at that it takes more than a physical connection to create a relationship.

I would like to where my other grown ups weigh in on this topic. When you are looking for a serious relationship, do you hold off on physical intimacy or does it matter? If you do wait, how long does it take before you do the do? Do you need to be friends first if you want to be more than just lovers?