Relax Relate Release
Just got back from a little R&R. I needed some new energy and a different space to help clear my head. I've been on the grind for a while now (almost 10 years to be exact) and it got real hard to keep going. I know its not supposed to be easy, but I was to the the top. Scratch that I was over the top and starting to drown it was soo deep.
At the urging of my champions I treated myself to a little retreat and it was good. Did it all go how I wanted it to go? No, but it was as it should be b/c the universe doesn't make mistakes. Sometimes you have to take a step back to see what's really going on and figure out what's next.
This morning as I packed up to head home, I was of mixed emotions. There was a shitload of stuff waiting for me to do and none of the issues had resolved themselves. I still have to figure a lot of stuff out, but as my wonderfull host quoted,"There are two rules of life. 1)Don't sweat the small stuff and 2) It's all small stuff." When I really look at my current situation, I realize its not so bad. So where am I now? Literally, I'm at home in my pj's typing on my laptop :-), but overall, facing the reality of some tough decisions. The difference is that instead of feeling overwhelmed and hopeless I have some clear insights into what I need to make happen.
- I have to get some money flowing: I am not meant to be without cash. I don't need a lot of money, but this is foolishness right here. I am too talented and too fabulous to be this fiscally challenged. Plus this worry about finances and feeling deprived is effecting my ability to move forward. I am feeling resentful b/c I can't do what I want or even some of the most basic things. I have pushed this whole sacrifice thing a little too far.
- I need to push past my fear of commitment and do it: No this is not about a man. I've been putting off buying property for over a year b/c the thought of a 30 year mortgage scares me. I have opportunity staring me in the face, but my ass is scared to commit to anything. This has to do with relationships too, but that's a whole other post.
- Pull out ALL THE STOPS: I have a lot of resources available to me that I haven't tapped and if I am going to blow this up I have to empty my bag of tricks. What's the point of holding back? I don't want to have any excuses so I am going to put it all out there. Whatever happens, I'll live to see another day.
- BALANCE BALANCE BALANCE: I have to commit to being a balanced person. I tend to live in extremes and its not working for me anymore. I vow to be well-rounded and live a full life no matter what!
